Mood: Angry!

Dr. Kleiner keeps stealing my pens. Always with the pens. The man is menace. Shift eyed menace! Sometimes I think he is looking at me when he thinks I not watching. Perhaps he has man-crush on me, as my assistant calls it.

Today we test collapse of quantum wave in laboratory. If all goes well, I will be writing from yesterday. If not, I will not be writing at all LoL!!!

Perhaps put tack in Kleiner's chair while he does not look.

Mood: Ecstatic!

Today is great success.

The tachyon-wave converter worked nominally, and I am surprised to find I am now in Sunday instead of Monday. I have travelled back in time 24 hours, and this post proves it!

I shall be toast of scientific community and have many admirers. Company plans are proceeding well, and soon, master-plan should be in effect. We shall all have cake. I may even give Dr. Kleiner a piece.

Or perhaps not.

T-Minus Two Days

We are all very nervous. Monday we test quantum wave collapsing apparatus, and we shall attempt travel along reverse of thermodynamic axis.

I wish ex-wife Elsa could see me now. Big famous (well, not really LOLOL) scientist, not "dickless Kraut," as she said. Her sudden demise soon after I took this job was somewhat ironic.

I make Canadian intern paint machine scary red:


Dr. Kleiner want to build machine to look like so:



But nobody listen to him. There is slight possibility that we will rip hole in fabric of space-time continuum, causing vacuum metastability event, but sacrifices must sometimes be made in name of SCIENCE LOL.

Evil boss

New boss insists that we all wear ties now. I think he is jerk. We must now sing company song every morning. I miss Dr. Vance, even though he was snotty American. At least Dr. Vance did not make us singing.

New boss Dr. Bowman is also American and talks like cowboy, so I do what he says.

To make matters worse, we now have motivational posters in office like such:



It is ghastly, but at least not as terrible as what happened to poor Lamarr last week. I shall miss Lamarr, but science marches on.

Success smells like bacon

We were able to test Zero-Point Energy Manipulator today, but it created radioactive backwash. Poor Barney was caught in blast, and now people in charge are angry. Health plan does not cover apparently mutations caused by gamma radiation, so Barney will have to be let go. Human resources tries not to anger Barney, as we "wouldn't like him when he's angry."

I don't understand, because Barney is usually happy man. At least, gun worked well.

Dr. Vance has been terminated as result of incident. I shall miss him. He let me keep unspeakable creatures from beyond as pets. No word yet as to new boss.

New Blog!

Dr. Vance has told me to keep "blog" thing about my work, as the men in charge do not want me posting on official site. They use word "crackpot," but what do they know?

"Unspeakable crime against nature," indeed. Do these men not understand progress?!? We are saving world (except France, LOL!), and I need live specimens to test with.

As you can see, Black Mesa is hot and boring place.


I miss mountains and virgins of Bavaria. All we have here is prairie dog (which does not look like dog) and sand. Still, facility is quiet and secluded, and I can get work done.